“i want to wear shorts because it’s hot but i really hate my legs” an autobiography
“I want to wear shorts but i didnt shave” the sequel.
“I want to wear shorts but I don’t tan and I’d rather not blind you” The trilogy
“I want to wear shorts but my huge dick always sticks out” a pop-up book
- Parents: Don't forget to make us proud
- Friends: Don't forget to socialize
- Teachers: Don't forget to get A's
- Strangers: Don't forget to blend in
- Opposite sex: Don't forget to look good
- Society: Don't forget to be perfect
- Tumblr: Fuck the world, they're peasants. At least you haven't murdered somebody today
- Tumblr: But just in case you want to get away with it, here are some tips.
In health class today, we got a “what should you say back to somebody who tries pressures you into sex” worksheet. This is what I wrote. And below, what it says, in case you’re having trouble with the picture or reading my handwriting.
“Come on, just this once.” - I’d rather have pizza and watch a movie.
“What could it hurt?” - You, if you keep pestering me.
“Everybody’s doing it.” - Too bad I’m not everybody.
“If you loved me, you’d let me.” - If you loved me, you’d buy me Supernatural on Blu-Ray. Hand ‘em over.
“I promise we’ll use a condom every time.” - *stares blankly until partner gets uncomfortable and leaves*
“No one has to know.” - No one has to know if I murder you.
“What are you afraid of?” - Spiders, needles, wasps, clowns, heights, murderers…
“Don’t you love me enough to have sex with me?” - No.
“You’re just chicken.” - *starts twitching wildly, making chicken noises, and flaps arms like wings*
“Don’t you want to know what it’s like?” - Not with you.
“Everyone knows you’ve done it before.” - I’d think I’d remember something like that.
“Maybe you just don’t like boys.” - Yes, I’m a lesbian.
“Put out or get out.” - Okay, bye.
“I’m clean, I promise.” - Maybe you should take a bath, then, just to be sure.DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW FUCKING BRILLIANT THIS IS OH MY GOD
ALL THE YES.
your bra strap is showing please hide it because it is suggestive. also your boobs are producing lumps in your shirt please hide them. your butt is in the same situation please get rid of it. also your legs. your arms. your face.
I can see your feet and it’s very distracting and slightly arousing.
(Source: basedgosh)
